"Friends, family, people I've known for years and who have been here with me through the good times and the bad... I don't really know how to tell you this, and I apologize in advance for any feelings of deception you may come to harbor against me, but I can no longer continue to live this lie. The truth is, I am a flying whale. For the past three years I have come to live a double-life, assuming a tiny, ground-bound (albeit handsome) alter-ego and repressing my true blubbery nature. During the lonely Pennsylvania nights, when the mundane insanity of the suburbs is just too much for me, I shed my human skin and take to the skys, soaring majestically over the rooftops of Downingtown, my passing shadow unheeded by the simple folk below. I soar, and the dew of clouds collects on my rostrum, the moonlight reflecting in silky waves off of my dorsal ridge. Only once I am gliding safely in the mesosphere do I feel safe in releasing the tensions of the day in the form of the mighty whalesong, the mournful tones reverberating in the cold night sky long after I have gone back to my house, and my humanity."
